1. |
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you're my best friend - we're always laughing at stupid things - like a world we don't fit in - and all of these cranberries shaped just like the can - I wish I was a robot much stronger than I am - baby I won't run even though I'm not the one - but why can't you just love me for Christmas?
I wouldn't change you - even if I could - because I'm not stupid - maybe just confused - another candle - another winter through the windows - more footprints in the snow - in circles - and we don't talk because we know each-others thoughts - so why can't you just love me for Christmas?
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2. |
Alley Pine
04:09
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alley pine - we don't want you here anymore - with your skeleton needles and the motor oil rainbow - collection day is near - alley pine - you've lived your life now go - take the gristle and fat thrown out back - you're a fire hazard of holiday cheer - fa-la-la-la - fa-la-la-la - fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
evergreen - now striped and on the ground - like your death-row of comrades shackled at trial - while the chainsaws ripped you down - evergreen - majestic where you stood but your six week show dressed in tinsel and glow has expired in this neighborhood - fa-la-la-la - fa-la-la-la - fa-la-la-la-la-la-la
you looked so beautiful in the video - alley pine
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3. |
Keep the Sweater
03:32
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you won't see my face anymore - in a while won't even know that I am gone - I'm not leaving you as much as I'm leaving me - I can't stand who I am beside this plastic flashing tree - but you can keep the sweater - it used to be my dads - he was in the Navy and they once sailed to Spain - he rode a motorcycle - and he smoked cigarettes - Christmas makes things hard to forget
I try not to think of how long it's been since I've kissed you - or wished for something new or gave you a present - I've been stumbling through my life just like a little kid - my love don't add another thing to your list of things you never did - so you can keep the sweater it used to be my dads - Polio took his innocence - he grew up to be big and mean and punched a Beach Boy in California - being southern in the west - Christmas makes things hard to forget
like life that fled the leaves that are blowing through the streets - the sky returns the snow - to leave footprints where we go - the road is calling me - I whispered goodbye while you were asleep
you can keep the sweater, it used to be my dads
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4. |
Santa Ain't Comin' Here
03:53
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baby it's so cold out there I'll bet we could see our breath - where lovers grind beneath the mistletoe - the Christmas tree is just the least we can molest - in LED's that cast a cold blue glow - Santa ain't comin' here tonight - would you?
bells ring in the distance and battle sirens and pleas - for a strangers guilty dollar to hit a liquor store - the shopping is full - the drone are raining fire - and fat man dressed in red to keep us preaching to the choir - Santa ain't comin' here tonight - would you?
each snowflake a melted dream - that fills an ocean of tears - so no merry Christmas - it's just another year that Santa ain't comin' here - tonight Santa ain't comin' here - would you?
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5. |
Empty Bottle of Cheer
04:25
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hey what are you doing in my living room? - what's in the bag? what's with the costume? - a man who comes down my chimney catches fire - you don't make these toys you big fat liar - here's a ho-ho-ho - I'm gonna' make it real clear - I've got an empty bottle of cheer - ding dong - ding dong
is that your rig parked up on my rooftop? - with the fliyin' chihuahuas painted like a lollipop…? - son you better take off before I call my home-boys - cuz'
when the fam rolls in saint nick they're gonna' make some noise - they're gonna' say ho-ho-ho - boom - let me make this real clear - we've got an empty bottle of cheer - ding dong - ding dong
what's up Santa Claus - what u got now bitch besides a lie and sack of plastic imported shit - I think your time is up bro - you're fucking with the wrong ho - got any last words? - say em' right now right here
one last time - say ho-ho-ho - spill the empty bottle of cheer - ding dong - ding dong
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6. |
End of the Year
05:07
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the days are shorter as you leave - fruit is rotted under skeletons of trees - when the shadows match the sky - all of our dreams die - now her winds are cold with fear - at the end of the year
bless the few who cling to a hope - like a star atop the limbs as they choke - but they all know the truth inside - there's too little left to deny - the night shines black and frozen death is near - it's the end of the year
offer gifts - offer guilt - and cry equality at feasts of every living thing we can defeat - the sky stares down like eyes of gods - we look to Jesus, Robin Hood and Santa Claus - each solstice comes and goes and leaves us here - at the end of the year
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7. |
Missus Claus
04:23
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missus Claus on a holiday of tears - nobody knows there’s no Christmas here - under a sky of longing and black - all alone on this night every year - (cries)
before bed I will stand in my robe as my man traverses the globe - filling hearts of the people he sees - bringing joy to everyone but me - (cries)
I don't know peace - I'm too empty - I can't live your dream anymore but I can end it
thankful for the food on our table - and years that we've spent maintaining this fable - but I poisoned those deer and set your chariot alight - on this eve of Christmas I will have you tonight - (cries)
cruelty to animals - malice and arson - justice was swift in this crime of passion - of the North Pole I didn't I could miss it - what cuts me so deep is that you never visit - (cries)
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8. |
Freezo the Clown
03:49
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Freezo the clown - you look so funny now - you're made of snow - but we all know you're trouble - you say 'don't call me this' or 'call me that' - in a whiny voice - you're a frozen brat - so uncool - soon you're gonna' be a puddle - Freezo the snow-clown - I'll be glad to see you go
Freezo the clown - you make the holiday a drag - stand there in the cold accusing every passer by - you say 'someone's wrong and we should all be mad' - tell the little kids that their lives are sad - but it's a sunny day - please melt away - Freezo the snow-clown - I'll be glad when you are gone
Freezo the clown - just looking for a fight - it's winter-time - you turn every smile into a frown - you say 'Think like me or you're the enemy!' - my different point of view makes me a 'Nazi' - you're a pile of ice - the opposite of nice - Freezo the snow-clown - can't wait for you to die
Freezo the clown - we'll tolerate you now - you're such a mess - in this Christmas bubble - you never shut up about politics - most of the kids think you're a dick - and it won't be long - before the end of this song - Freezo the snow-clown - thank god you don't stay long
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9. |
Last Sleigh Ride
04:02
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worldstar hip hop - watch it all fall apart - in your neck scarf and finger-gloves - with your frozen toes and superstitious love… - one last goodbye my dear - the sleigh rides are ending here
lock up and close workshop - release the reindeer and lay the elves off -
buy a 12 pack and a motor-home - a pack of smokes and head for Tucson - one last goodbye my dear - the sleigh rides are ending here
ho-ho-ho
jingle-jingle-jing
as the sun sets over desert sand - I dream of the snowy fields just broken man -
one last goodbye my dear - the sleigh rides are ending here
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10. |
Black Friday
02:56
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black friday - black friday - I'm looking for a deal - black friday - black friday - spending like no other - black friday - black friday - buyin' makes me feel - black friday - black friday - goin' shoppin' mother fucker!
you're gonna see me on the news - at the front of the stampede - filling up my soul - with all the shit I need - I've got every credit card - I'm gonna max these suckers out - show every saint and sinner what this holiday's about - you'd better get out of my way Santa Clause
black friday - black friday - I'm looking for a deal - black friday - black friday - spendin' like no other - black friday - black friday - buyin' makes me feel - black friday - black friday - goin' shoppin' mother fucker!
get a little something for my wife - and something for her mom - something for my maw and paw and each one of these damn dogs - I'll get somthin' for you - if you get something' for me - but I will punch you in the face to get this big screen TV - I will knock you out under the mistletoe - yeah!
black friday - black friday - I'm looking for a deal - black friday - black friday - spendin' like no other - black friday - black friday - buyin' makes me feel - black friday - black friday - goin' shoppin' mother fucker!
they say a man was born - got killed then resurrected - but If you become an atheist then all that stands corrected - none of it seems relevant to the prices in this sale - if you touch my shopping cart - then I'm gonna' go to jail - DO NOT TOUCH MY SHIT!
black friday - black friday - I'm looking for a deal - black friday - black friday - spendin' like no other - black friday - black friday - buying' makes me feel - black friday - black friday - goin' shoppin' mother fucker!
ho-ho-ho yourself fucko!
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